Wednesday, June 5, 2013


Women.  We can't live with them, and we can't live without them, for obvious reasons.  I've been recently having some confidence problems with regards to getting back into the dating game.

Let me give some background - I started dating L during my senior year of high school.  We were actually a good match.  I had met her a few years prior, due to my friend Max.  Max went to a rival high school, so we met during our time in the Boy Scouts.  I took an immediate liking to the boy, and started hanging out with his group of friends.  L was a part of this group, along with two other girls, K, and S.  L and I did not get along at first.  We did not really like each other, she thought I was some spoiled rich kid, and I thought she was pretty much a stone cold bitch.  Boy, that relationship changed really fast.  We wound up dating for 6 years, spending almost our entire time together on the weekends, and some days during the week.

With regards to our relationship, L was definitely an alpha style female.  She liked to dictate what we did, and frankly, I did not care.  However, at the same time she wanted me to start taking charge, saying what we were going to do that day, that sort of thing.  It frustrated the hell out of me, because when I did start to "wear the pants", make the decisions that I should, she would get frustrated.  Needless to say, we broke up 6 months ago.

I have some problems talking to women, as stated previously.  It seems to me that the girls I tend to go after are not really on my intelligence level, which is probably the main problem.  Coming from a background of history and politics with a love for british humor, I can see how this is the case.  The jokes I make tend to either go over their head, or they just do not find them funny.  I also tend to do one or more of the following list -

  • Over think the approach
  • Friend zone them myself
  • No idea how to continue the conversation
  • Worry I am not saying the correct things: be it text, or verbal
  • Honestly, if I a girl I like texts me, I tend to read WAY too far into the text
Heres the frustrating part - women like to be wined and dined, and coming out straight up, saying something forward like "I like you" seems to come off creepy.  I was raised on the thought that a man should always be chivalrous, treat women with respect, so on and so forth.  I am also the type of guy who is direct.  Many of you who read this initially know that about me.  If I dont like you, I wont pussyfoot around.  I think the same way when I am at work.  If one of my interns has a dumb idea, I will not let them get away with it.  I tell them that its dumb, and that they need to rethink the process. 

I am not writing this as a tell all.  It is a way for me to communicate my varied thoughts on the matter of meeting, talking to, and succeeding in the game of dating.  Its rough out there for men of higher intelligence who, lets be honest, are not exactly Adonis body types.  For example, a girl who I honestly would not mind dating literally just sent me a text.  Thinking back to the exact moment, my thought process went from "Who just sent me a text? --> Oh, its her! --> She's probably thinking about me".  Obviously, the third part is not the case.  She is just replying to something I sent her earlier, and moving on with her day.  Maybe its time I simply move on as well.  Focus on myself, my career, and what Im doing with my life. 

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